Peachy Comeback

  “You ready?” I ask Murphy, my 85-pound Goldendoodle, as we stand in the backyard. He stares intently at the ball in my hand. As soon as he sees me wind up—well, that’s a generous description—as soon as he sees me flail my arm back, he takes off, barreling down the yard at full speed toward absolutely nothing. Then the ball whizzes by somewhere in his general direction. At that moment, his effort pays off, and he excitedly chases it down. His faith inspires me. Don’t laugh. His commitment to the process speaks to me. Actually, that *is* pretty silly and worth a laugh. But go with me here. Life requires effort without complete control of the results. Giving effort and energy in relationships, in career, in sickness, in circumstances where we don’t have total control of the outcome, is not easy. It can feel heavy, tiring, and isolating. I vividly remember dark, low moments in the middle of cancer treatment—a circumstance requiring significant effort and energy with no control of the...

  Through the windows of our sunroom, I’m watching snow fall. Not an unusual comment for a January day until you understand the ground it’s falling on is in Georgia. I wonder if my 9:00 o’clock nail appointment will get canceled? Likely.   Yesterday, over a bowl of coconut curry soup, a new experience for me, I listened to a friend describe someone’s recent experiences dealing with disappointment and her desire to help that person navigate those emotions. After some probing questions, it was apparent that source of the disappointment was rooted more in concerns for what other people were thinking about this person’s performance or ability and less about how this person felt about their own performance or ability.  What a common experience.  Comparing yourself to other people or experiences had by those people are both common and crippling. Don’t do it. Should probably get my mirror out and say that again.  Instead, stay focused on what you can control: your effo...

 Recently, I shared on Instagram two photos from roughly the same day but 4 years apart for the sole purpose of highlighting a key learning from my journey with breast cancer.  Context In both photos, I’m smiling and holding a dog. In contrast, one photo reveals fuzzy freshly growing hair on a bald head and the other has normal shoulder length hair. And while one may jump to the conclusion that the latter pictured self is a happier self, it’s not necessarily completely accurate. Don’t get me wrong, I am quite happy and eternally grateful to be mostly through that pointedly difficult season in life. But with further reflection, I can find things that would steal joy and keep me up at night in both examples.  Learning Circumstances are dynamic, rarely constant. That fact leaves me in far less control than I would prefer to admit. However, for the control freak in all of us, we do have a few things within our grasp: thought life and perspective. Choosing to have perspective ...

On Episode 11 of the Peachy Comeback Podcast, I talk with nursing student, Reese, about my journey with breast cancer.  Reese is a nursing student at Kennesaw State University where she is taking a course on cancer survivorship. As her aunt and breast cancer survivor, I was beyond thrilled to be interviewed as part of research project. If you haven’t heard me say it before, the medical care team I encountered throughout my 3 years of breast cancer treatment was vital part of my treatment. Being surrounded by competent, empathetic, and helpful medical professionals was a true highlight of my journey. I am inspired and excited by the young nurses studying hard and seeking to learn all they can in order to be prepared to take care of those who cannot take care of themselves.  Thank you to all of the people from cleaning teams to surgeons who help make great medical care available!  -Abby  

 It’s wild to think about the unexpected situations and decisions we so quickly find ourselves in. “Do I want to save my hair while going through chemo” is one such question I and far too many women have asked themselves.  I elected to let my hair release. This decision was made mostly because I don’t have thick hair to begin with. The thought of going through the effort to keep it, only to end up with a sprig or two was a chance I didn’t have the eagerly to take.  My good friend faced the exact same question a few years after me. She elected to go with cold capping and preserved her hair throughout her entire course of chemotherapy treatment for breast cancer. Wow! I mean, I just think this is so awesome! My goal in having an in depth conversation with her about her experience is to create more relatable, real-life content and support for women who may be asking themselves the very same question right now. Watching my friend’s strength through this journey has been so in...

 Peachy Comeback Episode 6 What a privilege talking with my sister, Ashley Jones, on the Peachy Comeback. In this episode of the Peachy Comeback, Ashley and I talk about the importance of care and recovery during breast cancer. We talk through what it’s like as a patient and what it’s like as a caregiver following a double mastectomy surgery. How do you prepare for a double mastectomy surgery? The process of preparing for a surgery can feel overwhelming and exhausting. Here are four tips to help get you feeling better prepared. Steps To Get Ready For A Double Mastectomy Surgery Recovery 1. Volunteer someone to take care of you. Seriously, friend. Now is not the time to be an independent warrior. Ask for help and have a trusted person in your life be available to be with you at all times for at least the first several days. Help with simple things like getting up and down from a chair or bed is so important and really helps the recovery process not feel so daunting. 2. Have lots of ...

 We spent Halloween weekend at the beach this year. Halloween always conjures up, no pun intended,  specific memories in my mind because I was diagnosed with breast cancer around this time in 2020. Also an election year. Heaven help us. This year, the feelings felt extra fresh. As I sat on the sand watching the sun go down, yes, it was idyllic, I couldn't shake the feeling of how drastically different my life was just a few short years ago. Scared and sad were the first words that come to mind.  The emotions settled quite heavily as I drifted from thinking about my own experience to thoughts of a dear friend newly embarking on this journey. A journey no one signs up for. At the time of my diagnosis, it was almost impossible to see an end in sight. The idea of 18 + weeks of treatment, procedures, and more treatment if needed, terrified me. I wanted so badly to be done before I even got started. As a kid, my mom would read stories to me out of, what I remember to be fantast...

 How I Found It A good friend recently asked me if I had read Jessica Simpson’s memoir. I hadn’t. Mostly because I didn’t know about it. Lately, I’m not up to date on the good reads. My excuse? “I’m too busy getting kicked in the pants by all that is this life.” Weak excuse. Must work on that. Well, “Read it,” she said. See, we grew up in the 2000’s pop culture. Jessica Simpson represented everything a girl wants: mind boggling beauty, a dream boat boyfriend, and her own castle. At least, that covers the basics.  Preparing for a much overdue vacation, I put it at the top of my reading list. Historically, I am a self help book reader, however, I’m fully aware that vacation mode doesn’t exactly scream, “10 Steps To Be A Better You.” This book was the perfect fit. Mission accomplished. Words to describe it:  Fascinating, Honest, Funny What I Liked The Most I appreciate how she shares her struggles with self destructing habits. All of us have them, and we all have an appetite...

"Don't fear your weakness....be afraid of those moments when you think you're independently strong." The caption of my morning devotional from Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies. Personal confession, I absolutely loath, despise, hate, cringe, die on the inside, when asked a question I don't have an answer to. It makes me feel weak and incompetent. Please don't roll your eyes. This is a confession and a judgment free zone. You feel? The author goes on to list all the things that can make us feel weak, and I identified with almost everything on the list. But oddly enough, I found comfort in the fact that everyone has something, that one thing, that fleshes our own personal vulnerability or weakness.  Feeling or actually being weak isn't a problem. That's normal for everyone. It's more about being self aware and proactively processing the felling or situation. Three take aways... and yes, they are free today. I'm not the only one. Could say mor...

 Today, I went for my 6th Kadcyla infusion. 8 to go. After getting my port flushed and hooked up, the nurse took me to a room where I would see my oncologist before going in for the infusion.  (By they way, I hope there is some wonderful soul out there finding a way to flavor whatever they use to flush a port. I think it’s a saline rinse? I mean, gag! Absolutely terrible. My secret? Hold my breath and look away. The nurse invariably asks, “Sweetie, are you okay?” I shake my head silently, usually give a thumbs up, because after all, I’m holding my breath and not talking. Then, once I’m convinced the taste is gone or turning blue, which ever comes first, I breathe again. That’s my working method until they come up with a chardonnay flavored rinse!) My oncologist came in and sat down on a nearby swivel stool. We started chatting about how I’m tolerating the treatment. Thankfully, it’s going oaky so far. He said something to the effect of, “so, you think we can do this?” “Absolut...

Tomorrow I report for breast cancer chemo treatment #6. Lord willing, it will be the last.  As I lay here in bed trying to fall sleep, clearly not a task I’m succeeding in at that moment, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. I remember the first visit with my oncologist where he laid out my treatment plan. To start, “you’ll be having 6 rounds of chemo every 3 weeks.” I’m not great at math, but it didn’t take me long to get to 18. It sounded like an E-T-E-R-N-I-T-Y. I was terrified.  Now, somehow, here I am. On the other side of 18 weeks. Did I really make it to the other side?  Nothing about the past 18 weeks has been fun or easy. It also hasn’t been as bad as my imagination told me it could be. Grace, good medicine, a fabulous oncologist, and support team I feel undeserving of have escorted me on this journey. They get the credit for getting me to the other side.  Grace has bolstered me when darkness has clouded my mind.  Good medicine, oh man, it’s kept from making...

Greetings from the infusion room. I hope you had a Christmas filled with hope.  I’m settled in for chemo infusion 3 of 6. Happy halfway day to me.  Thanks to COVID, you don’t get to bring a friend anymore. You get to come here solo, visit with your fellow infusion mates, nurses, and ponder New Years resolutions.  Are we doing those this year? On one hand, New Years Resolutions feel like a great way to set yourself up for failure. But on the other hand, reflecting back on your year, and committing to doing a few things better sort of puts some wind behind your sails. So, to answer my own question, yes, I am definitely putting a few ideas together for what I want to do well in 2021.  My plan for daily living in 2021 is inspired by something I’ve been doing since the start of chemo: focusing on and doing the essentials that set me up to win. Sound simple? It is. But, friend, it’s not easy. Culture, work, friends, family, your children’s coaches, room moms, Instagram, an...

 Okay, the hair releasing didn’t last long. I couldn’t take it. I was sitting at work, went for a head scratch, and came away with fist full of hair. Nope. We’re done here. It wasn’t something I wanted to experience any longer than necessary.  The salon I ordered my wig from wasn’t open, so I was left hunting around town for some kind soul to shave my head. Enter Tammy. She cuts Clark’s hair, and she answered my desperate text for help.  My sister, Stacey, bravely volunteered to go with me. Clark took a pass, and I’m so glad he did. It wasn’t something I really wanted him to experience. Not that he couldn’t have handled it. He can handle anything. But it just wasn’t something I “needed” him there for.  On the way to salon, Stacey pondered, “I hope we are in a sort of private area. Like, not out in the open where everyone can see your business.” My response, “Good thought. I hope so.”  We park, walk in, greet Tammy, and walk the short two steps to chair number 1....

 Today is chemo day 13. Please know that’s not how I wake up thinking about each day. But for the purposes of story telling, it helps provide context.  My hair has started to release. There was no drama, no fancy sad music, or fall apart. Just a simple finger run through that came away with way more strands than necessary. I repeated the process just to check. Yep. Definitely coming out. On Tuesday, it will all be getting “released” with a buzzer.  It’s a strange feeling, but I don’t think it is a rare feeling. Any experience that involves having to watch or feel your body break down is unpleasant. Objectively, experiencing chemo hair loss is difficult. And I think you should allow yourself to experience the emotions that come with it, however, you can’t stay there for long. You can’t dwell there. At least, I can’t. That road gets long and dark very quickly.  Enter, perspective. Still reading? Great. I knew we would be friends. This is the thing: I have heard my enti...

Has 4 weeks ever felt like 8 months?  Good! Glad it isn’t just me.  4 weeks ago today, I went in to have my first ever mammogram due to a lump I discovered on my right breast. Between my age, 32, and lack of family history I walked in thinking nothing of it. Literally. End of story. Turns out, I was wrong.  It was actually the beginning of a story.  I don’t need to brace you for the fallout that unfolded. Looking back at my two hour office visit and all of the events that unfolded, there is definitely some humor to the story, however, at that this point in time, I don’t have the energy to go back and relive it for you. For now, can we just agree to have the highlights? Before we go on, it’s only fair that I clarify the office I visited to have this test was not in the town where I live, or in any way related to the care team I currently have.  Friday, October 23rd: Highlight 1. The mammogram itself. Are you people serious? Is this really how we still have to do ...

 Hi,  My name is Abby. At the time of this entry, I have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. I’m starting a blog as a way to share my story. Over the past several days, as I’ve come to fully grasp the road underfoot, two thoughts have settled in my mind: 1. How can I use my experience to help someone else?  2. What can I learn from this? A blog seems like a good place to start. My hope is that someone will be able to connect with my experience and find support and encouragement for themselves. At the very least, I hope it makes someone laugh. Seriously. A good sense of humor shouldn’t be underrated. It’s helping me get through some long days. I highly recommend it.  A little about me: I’m married to Clark. He’s my best friend. We live near a downtown square in a tiny bungalow. I work in healthcare marketing. I’m from Leesburg, GA. You get a big shout out if you know where that is. I’m the youngest of 4.  Talk soon, Abby