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Saturday Morning 1: Comparison

 Through the windows of our sunroom, I’m watching snow fall. Not an unusual comment for a January day until you understand the ground it’s falling on is in Georgia. I wonder if my 9:00 o’clock nail appointment will get canceled? Likely. 


Yesterday, over a bowl of coconut curry soup, a new experience for me, I listened to a friend describe someone’s recent experiences dealing with disappointment and her desire to help that person navigate those emotions. After some probing questions, it was apparent that source of the disappointment was rooted more in concerns for what other people were thinking about this person’s performance or ability and less about how this person felt about their own performance or ability. 


What a common experience. 


Comparing yourself to other people or experiences had by those people are both common and crippling. Don’t do it. Should probably get my mirror out and say that again. 


Instead, stay focused on what you can control: your effort, your ability, your conversation with yourself about yourself, and what you allow yourself to think and focus on. Own your circumstance and compare your results with your capability. No one else’s. 



For me, three personal experiences race to mind.

1. College Athletics: Hacking it around 18 holes of golf while your competitors and playing partners play lights out.  Play your game. Or, sometimes, the lack there of. 

2. Sickness: “Why me?!” Does not help your hair grow back any faster. 

3. Professional Career: Currently, this one resonates the most. Several months ago, I found myself in a conversation asking for advice. After listening to me wax poetically about all my specific unique challenges that were making things so difficult, the person on the other end of the phone said the one thing we all need to hear. “Keep your head down. Don’t get distracted by what is going on around you.” No fluff. No excuses.


Keep your head down. Do the thing that is in front of you. Compare your work to your own ability. 

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