Peachy Comeback

  “You ready?” I ask Murphy, my 85-pound Goldendoodle, as we stand in the backyard. He stares intently at the ball in my hand. As soon as he sees me wind up—well, that’s a generous description—as soon as he sees me flail my arm back, he takes off, barreling down the yard at full speed toward absolutely nothing. Then the ball whizzes by somewhere in his general direction. At that moment, his effort pays off, and he excitedly chases it down. His faith inspires me. Don’t laugh. His commitment to the process speaks to me. Actually, that *is* pretty silly and worth a laugh. But go with me here. Life requires effort without complete control of the results. Giving effort and energy in relationships, in career, in sickness, in circumstances where we don’t have total control of the outcome, is not easy. It can feel heavy, tiring, and isolating. I vividly remember dark, low moments in the middle of cancer treatment—a circumstance requiring significant effort and energy with no control of the...

  Through the windows of our sunroom, I’m watching snow fall. Not an unusual comment for a January day until you understand the ground it’s falling on is in Georgia. I wonder if my 9:00 o’clock nail appointment will get canceled? Likely.   Yesterday, over a bowl of coconut curry soup, a new experience for me, I listened to a friend describe someone’s recent experiences dealing with disappointment and her desire to help that person navigate those emotions. After some probing questions, it was apparent that source of the disappointment was rooted more in concerns for what other people were thinking about this person’s performance or ability and less about how this person felt about their own performance or ability.  What a common experience.  Comparing yourself to other people or experiences had by those people are both common and crippling. Don’t do it. Should probably get my mirror out and say that again.  Instead, stay focused on what you can control: your effo...